Things heard in the G house so far in 2011

I decided that, now that we're a month in, to make a (short) list of things said to the pets (as a group) and specifically La Doof Kitton in the first month of the new year.  I think this is evidence that he did not make a resolution to be well behaved.  And we probably sound like mean pet parents. 

• It's all your fault we can't have nice things
• You don't have balls, quit mounting your sister
• Pick on someone your own size (Because he was picking on El Gato--nevermind she out weighs him by *cough cough* pounds)
• Pick on someone your own size does NOT mean pick on Dawg
• Get down from there! ('there' was a shelf, a kitchen counter, a table and a windowsill)
• Your disguise needs work; no matter how still you hold, you can't pass as a pudding cup
• (see above^) ...nor a saucepan.
• Saying 'nobody here but us pots' does not help the disguise
• Someday, your paw is going to get stuck like that. (he was trying to get into a drawer--more on that in another post another day :-P)
• QUIT reaching into the microwave
• You can be made into violin strings (he was trying to wake the baby)
• seriously?  it's a green bean.  People are going to think we don't feed you if you 3 don't stop fighting over a frozen green bean
• If you make the hole in the window shade bigger, I will beat knots on your pointy little skull.  (see above re: not having nice things.  He made the hole bigger so he could climb through and peer out)
• Dude, you will SO deserve it when Dawg eats you one of these days!  
• (^see above.  He was eventually pounced by Dawg) Nu-uh, not gonna yell at her.  You were being good this time, but you deserved it for trying to eat her ear while she was sleeping last night.  And stealing her bed 3 nights last week
• Yes doofus, that tail is still attached to your butt.  But your attempt to remove it is entertaining!
• If you push that book off the shelf one more time, I will throw it at you (please note, he only shoves things off shelves when I can't reach him because I'm holding a baby.  He knows this)
• Cough drops are not cat toys.
• (see above^) Neither are cough drop wrappers!
• (see above^) Neither are pacifiers.  And, ew, now I have to clean that.
• Catus, all soft surfaces in the house are NOT cat beds.  (followed by booting him out of the crib/off Dawg's bed/off my bathrobe/etc) 

I'm sure I'll have more to add eventually, but I thought it was a pretty good start for 1 month :)