Sunday, November 8, 2009

The demise of the treat-dispensing-toy

Fairly recently, an admirer sent La Doof Kitton and El Gato some toys (really. Apparently there are people who like my pets. Even if Dawg is still not allowed to visit the houses of some relatives after nearly destroying them). There some of these toys are still around the house (under the fridge, in the toy basket, or hiding in the basement) but the treat ball didn't make it.

The treat ball was a fairly straightforward toy--a hollow ball with a hole in it. So you put treats/catnip/etc in the ball and as they bat it about, the good-things-inside fall out of the hole. Genius I tell you!

So, I broke out this shiny new treat ball and, when it came time for the kittehs' bedtime treats, I gave them each ONE and put the other stinky little bits of tasty bad-for-kitty-ness into the treat ball and set it on the floor (on the side of the baby gate that Dawg can NOT get to--Dawg also likes kitteh treats) and I went to bed.

I heard the hubbub of kittehs trying to get to treats for a while and then I heard the *thump, thump, thump, thumppity thump thump thumppity* of a treat ball bouncing down a flight of steps. And then I heard silence. And then I went to sleep.

When I got up in the morning, the ball was lying in 2 halves at the bottom of the stairs, sans treats. While that's not ideal, it was still forcing El Gato to exercise for her treat and it was fun (Okay, *I* thought it was fun. La Doof Kitton seemed to be enjoying himself. El Gato seemed to think that I should be beaten with sticks for making it harder to get to her treats) so I was game to keep doing this.

We repeated the "treats in the ball at night" several more times before I realized that I quit hearing the sound of kittehs trying to get to treats...apparently ONE of them (or both...but my money is on one--La Doof Kitton) figured out that taking the ball to the top of the stairs and shoving it down = ball in pieces and, YAY TREATS with less work.

So, the next day, I decided that I would put catnip, rather than treats in the ball. La Doof Kitton is mostly indifferent to catnip while El Gato is all for the reefer madness. and hits that bong pretty hard. I put a large pinch of catnip in the ball and put the ball in the library (Dawg doesn't like the library--the floor is lava) and watched El Gato sniff at it. A few minutes later, I heard a noise in the living room that sounded less than promising; I forgot that, as indifferent to catnip as La Doof Kitton is, Dawg is not. I don't think Dawg gets a 'rush' from it, I think she just likes eating El Gato's toys and she associates the smell with fun-to-eat kitteh toys.

I arrived in the living room to find El Gato, perched on the back of the couch looking VERY upset while Dawg lay under the couch (that's where she goes when she's chewing on things she oughtn't be chewing on) , surrounded by flakes of catnip and purple and green plastic bits.

So the treat ball didn't make it--the kitteh's are back to just having their bits of partially-digested-animal-by-product-meal (ew) placed in front of them at bedtime. And La Doof Kitton seems disappointed that he doesn't get to push things downstairs. And El Gato is quite content with the return to the status quo--and easier access to treats.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween wine foil anyone?

La Doof Kitton perched in the window and investigated the trick-or-treaters...he actually tried to slither out the front door to get to them so I locked him in the office, where he watched vigilantly for the ghouls and goblins (this window looks right out onto the front door):

I heard noises in the kitchen and went to investigate...
La Doof Kitton was sitting in the middle of the floor with the cork from my bottle of Halloween wine.

I decided the possibility of staining was to great and took it away from him and came back to my computer.

I heard noises and returned to the kitchen...
La Doof Kitton was sitting in the middle of the floor with the foil top from my bottle of Halloween wine.

I decided this was more-or-less safe. So I got the camera and watched him play with this for the next several minutes--and eventually El Gato, in typical pushy older sister fashion, came and nosed in. She fiddled with it for a minute and then decided that such things were beneath her (more like she didn't want to fight her brother for it--seeing as he tends to win).

The night's favorite toy:

(wandering away with it held firmly in his teeth)

Oooh, maybe it will go down the stairs

El Gato inspecting this 'toy'

I'm not quite sure where the wine foil is now, but I gave them that as a 'treat' so I get no tricks, right?
(ETA--Initially, I had given them some plastic kid's fangs as their Halloween treat...but apparently, La Doof Kitton fed them to Dawg earlier today. So I can expect glowing green flecks in the back yard this week.)

Of yogurt lids and things

(I actually started to post this tale a week ago...but our DSL modem fried itself mid-post. Literally. And it took a while to get a new one. But AT&T was pretty gracious about the entire thing and didn't charge me for this new piece of plastic attached here, so I have no room to complain)

If you didn't know, Yoplait runs a thingy where sending in lids provides donations to Breast Cancer research. Given how much yogurt this house goes through on a weekly basis (the critters eat it. I eat it. Mr. G eats it), we are saving up a pile o' lids to send in soon. Since all lids must be clean, the pets do their duty every time I open a yogurt at home by volunteering to clean the lid off for me. It works well--they clean the lid off, I run it under water to get anything they miss (HA, like that happens!) and then I stick the lid into a baggie that is attached to the very top of the fridge by a strong magnetic clip.

Well, recently, the Mr. and I left to go about our days...and came home to find yogurt lids strewn about.

APPARENTLY *someone* in the house had managed to climb to the top of the fridge, reach down inside the baggie (the baggie was still firmly magnet-ed to the fridge), and fish out lids. There was a breadcrumb trail of lids that lead from the kitchen to the office and then from the office to the living room. And the next day we found several tucked inside the blanket that's on top of the couch. And a few days later we found several inside the towel that sits on the exercise bike.

He seemed to thoroughly enjoy creating a scavenger hunt--although I believe he was disappointed that the lids lacked yogurt for him to eat (not that he eats it--he only eats it if it irritates the other pets. He likes to play with the lids and steal them from the other pets; he's indifferent to yogurt as a food--he prefers it as a plaything).

So, since it was apparent that the kitton could sit on top of the fridge and dig out yogurt lids, we moved them. We stuck the magnet smack in the middle of the fridge--it wouldn't be reachable from the top OR the floor. or at least we didn't think it would.

We came home to find 1-the baggie o' lids, with teethmarks in it, on the kitchen floor and 2-magnets and a few of the bits of magnetic poetry spread about the kitchen floor. The magnetic poetry was well chewed--I'm not sure who did that, although there was a dog-centric set as a part of the poetry that said 'treat' which is gone altogether--I can only assume Dawg ate it.
Best guess is that La Doof Kitton positioned himself on a counter/the back of a chair/the microwave cart and launched himself at the fridge--grabbing the bag and dragging it downward and scattering magnets as he slid down.

With that sort of determination at play, we gave up and the baggie o' lids is IN the fridge, on a shelf.

Just to remind us that he's boss, however, La Doof Kitton DID apparently climb up and steal the dry erase marker off the magnetic dry-erase board earlier this week. We're still not sure where that went.
(I believe the score for THIS debacle is Pets 3, humans 0)

Friday, October 23, 2009

stuck in the cupboards...

I was hungry, so I opened the cupboard where pots and pans are to grab a pan. I turn back around from setting it on the stove just inside to watch a gray kitteh tail disappear into the cupboard. I grumble and attempt to lure him out.

He (shock of shocks :-P) ignores me.

I try to lure him out with scratchy noises and a wadded up piece of paper and a toy and a treat...he (shocking, I know) IGNORES me.

So I leave the cupboard open and start on my lunch and turn around when I hear strange noises I look in the cupboard and see a kitteh butt...the rest of La Doof Kitton is on top of the drawer slider. hanging into the next cupboard over...the one under the sink where all the noxious chemicals are. He apparently climbed onto the drawer slider and decided to go exploring.

So I open that cupboard and debate what to do. He climbs the rest of the way into the under-sink-cupboard and sits there. He debates climbing into the NEXT cupboard over--the one that leads to where the wine rack is--NOTHING good ever comes of that--besides, from there he can get himself (again) behind the drawers o' doom.

I try again to lure him out and he convinces me that he's STUCK--that he can't get around all the bottles and shelves and such...

I have an epiphany and lightning strikes my brain and I walk over to the microwave cart and I roll it away from the fridge. (he likes getting between appliances. And laying there. And refusing to move so we can put appliances back)

Miracle of miracles, SUDDENLY the universe shifts, the atoms align, and La Doof Kitton CAN fit around the bottles and under the small shelf.

And he appears between the microwave cart and fridge and lays down, so he can feel under the fridge for toys. And pulls out a milking and continues laying in the warmth between appliances to enjoy his victory.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Samurai X

I needed the laugh tonight...

After work, we all relaxed in the living room. Dawg was under my feet, El Gato was on the back of the couch, and La Doof Kitton plopped down on the coffee table, pretending he didn't want to eat the flowers on the other end of the table (he did. and does. He was hoping we'd look away.we didn't yet. He will win and eat them eventually).

Well, he flopped down on the netflix pile...

and got the adhesive jammed onto his fur.

He stood up, confused as to what was pulling his fur...and then he wandered about, still confused. Then he realized he was being attacked by a red and white envelope and did the logical cat thing...he panicked.

So he ran around the living room, being chased by Samurai X until the adhesive gave out.

He then sat on the chair (not the coffee table--apparently it bites) and eyed the envelope warily for a while.

And we laughed. So he eyed us with the look of one who may attempt to murder us later for expressing mirth at his disgrace.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

We still have the 'treat fling' as a part of the nightly ritual. and it amuses me.

Every night, the pets get a 'bedtime treat'. I tell Dawg 'go to bed' and she goes to the hallway (or the bedroom) and waits for me to toss her a treat.

Usually La Doof Kitton is at the 'treat point' (next to where the treats are kept) before I even finish talking to Dawg. If not, he hears the rattle of the treat can and comes running (El Gato doesn't come running but will saunter into the right general direction. Running is to much work).

At this point, I shake out a few of the tremendously icky pounce treats (truly, they are indeed icky. Have you ever looked at the ingredients? But El Gato *refuses* to eat any w/ healthy ingredients) and I hold El Gato's in my left hand and La Doof Kitton's in my right. I set El Gato's down in front of her...and I fling La Doof Kitton's across the room in a shower of icky cat-treat rain. Why? because if I set them in front of him, he scarfs them down and steals El Gato's before she can eat them. And if I fling them? he's much more interested in the 'oooh, that treat is trying to escape' treat than he is in the "meh, that treat is just sitting there" treat.

What's scary is that the Mr and I both developed this same treat-feeding mechanism independently...and Uncle D, the cat sitter? he developed it independently as well. Apparently La Doof Kitton's spunk is predictable sometimes :-)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

King of the Chair

This is how this game is played...(keeping in mind, it's hard to photograph these things one handed)
Place cat in office chair (in this instance, I lured the cat into a bag first, then put the bag in the chair...usually, however, the cat puts HIMSELF into the chair)

Sneak behind chair (and by sneak, I mean, go about as nosily and obviously as you'd like...but duck down so they can't see you. They'll forget you're there within 2 seconds. )

Tap human hand on top of chair thusly:

Continue tapping on the chair until the cat responds...this takes between 2 seconds and 15 minutes, depending on the cat. (The cat's response is designed to scare you. It's like staring at the toaster and waiting for it to pop up. You KNOW it's coming. You're expecting it. But you still dump hot coffee all over yourself when it happens.)

Responding looks like this:

And then the cat gets distracted by nothing and you grab it's paw:

And then the cat says "I'm king" and lays on the back of the chair. or back in the seat, depending on what inconveniences the people most at that moment.

At which point, a very ambitious/evil person may put the cat back in the bag and play with the arms...which usually ends up with the chair spinning until everyone is dizzy

Regardless, the game always ends the same way...with a satisfied cat sitting.aying anywhere he darn well pleases.

Running up-side-down

La Doof Kitton likes to run. He runs around the house a lot.

And sometimes, he runs under the couch. He climbs under the couch and rolls so his back is on the carpet and his feet are up in the air. Then he sticks out all of his claws, digs them deep into the underbelly of the couch, and runs around under there.

It's incredibly difficult to get pictures of him doing this but, I tried...(Please not El Gato enjoying the sunbeams and completely ignoring her annoying baby brother. And also note some of the blurryness caused by trying to get a picture of a wee gray perpetual motion machine):

Friday, September 4, 2009

in which La Doof Kitton feeds Dawg more things

wow, I'm an incredibly negligent blogger again. Sorry.

So, twice in the last week, La Doof Kitton fed things to dog.

1-The cheese wrapper
I was having a bout of insomnia. It happens from time to time and usually results in me prowling around the house in the half-darkness and making enough noise to wake up Mr. G and I generally make a pest of myself.
Well, I got hungry while pacing and grabbed a piece of string cheese from the fridge. Because I was pacing I absent-mindedly dropped the wrapper to said piece of string-cheese in the trash can off the kitchen--the one w/o a lid.

The next morning, I realized that Dawg was acting like she had something she wasn't supposed to. I couldn't see anything and I looked and assumed she was acting 'guilty' for some other reason.
But when I went to leave the house, I realized that tiny trash can was knocked over.

I KNOW Dawg didn't go and knock over that trash can because she can't go across the tile and down the step into onto the landing. (okay, maybe she CAN but she won't. Linoleum = lava and stairs in the house = impenetrable barrier). And I know El Gato didn't do it because she actually spent the night in bed with me.
Which means...(dun dun dun)...La Doof Kitton knocked over the trash can, pulled out the cheese wrapper, and brought it somewhere for Dawg to take from him.

(and the good ending is, that made me remember that I had indeedy put a cheese wrapper in there at 4 am. And so I knew what I was looking for. And I retrieved the cheese wrapper before Dawg ingested it--which is MUCH more pleasant than retrieving it after she has ingested it.)

2-The shirt
I have quite a few of what are commonly, in this house, called 'chore coats'. You know, those lined flannel shirts that you wear out to the barn (no, we don't have a barn) to do chores? Most of mine were stolen from my dad (sorry dad) over the years and they live in the front coat closet to grab whenever you need something warmer than just a flannel but not so 'nice' as a Carhartt.

Well, at some unGodly hour like 4am (do you notice how often these things happen at 4 am? why do pets not need things more often at noon? or even 10 pm), it was my turn to take Dawg out when she decided she had an 'emergency' need to go out. I grabbed a chore coat and her leash, headed out into the pouring rain, and tossed the chore coat on the back of a kitchen chair to dry when I came back in.

The next morning, I tried to put Dawg outside and she informed me that, no, she didn't need to go out. Not only had she 'already gone' (at 4 am) but it was still raining...why would she want to go out in that? So I left the animals to their own devices --with El Gato and La Doof Kitton playing "pick in your sibling" and "you can't see me through this cloth--let me hit you while you can't see me" through the chore coat on the back of the chair--while I went about my day.

A while later, I see the coat on the floor and think nothing of it--the cats do tend to knock things over when they play the above games. I also saw Dawg considering laying on the coat--she loves napping on our clothing and while this is one of my nicest chore coats (or, one of dad's nicest chore coats--sorry dad), it wasn't something I cared if she napped on.

Even LATER, Mr. G walked into the room and said "Well Dawg, don't you look all....wait, why are you eating mom's coat?"

Remember I said these are coats you take for chores? well....walking Dawg is a chore. And so, apparently, a long LONG time ago, I filled the breast pocket of the chore coat with dog cookies (we love having pocket sized cookies around).

And...since Dawg isn't quite smart enough to get inside the pocket (the pocket was NOT buttoned. There is a 'flap' but the pocket was plenty big enough to fit a nose into...) she did the next logical thing...she ate the pocket.

So this is no longer one of my 'nicest' chore coats. It's now the one with a giant hole in the left breast. (sorry dad!).
Dawg looked so very disappointed when she realized I was going to take away her new treat-dispensing-bed...but she was thrilled that, upon me grabbing the coat and picking it up, her handiwork came to fruition--since there was no longer a bottom to the pocket, all the crumbs of doggie cookie scattered all over the floor for her to lap up.

Mr. G found this funnier than I did for some reason :-P

Sunday, July 26, 2009

And more grooming...

When I finished brushing El Gato, I'm always left with piles of gray kitteh fur. I rolled some of into a wee El Gato's gray kitteh fur sausage so it wouldn't blow into my computer's ventilation while I finished the brushing. La Doof Kitton thought that might be the new, coolest kitteh toy evah. He stole it, played with it, layed on it, rolled around on it and cuddled with it.

Then he tried to eat it.

(directions for making such a toy, if you want to risk the eating are here:

(and darn-it-all, the photographic evidence just got me in trouble. Because we just had a conversation that sounded something like this:

Mr. G: *looking over my shoulder* What's he got in those pictures?
Me: Uhm, a pile of El Gato hair
Mr. G: WHAT?
Me: He wanted to help with the brushing...I had rolled up El Gato's hair so it wouldn't blow away and he came and played with it
Mr. G: *reading blog-not-yet-posted* And he ate it?
Me: uhhh *desperately stalling* Look, something sparkly!
Mr. G: That only works on you.
Me: Oh, right. Well, he tried to eat it. I took most of it away when he started eating it. But he did run off with a wad of it and I couldn't find it anywhere--I guess he hid it somewhere.
Mr. G: Like in his stomach.
Me: Maybe.
Mr. G: And do you suppose that might explain why I've cleaned up puked up piles of cat hair every day for the last 3 days?
Me: Maybe.
Mr. G: You should just not tell me these things...
Me: I didn't tell you! I was keeping it secret and just putting it on the blog
Mr. G: *sounded a little incredulous* You don't think that counts as telling me?
Me: Well, both cats have refused to be brushed for the last 3 days so I'm fairly sure they're done eating and puking up hair for now
Mr. G: Well that's good. We'll just go back to the old system of them licking themselves, ingesting hair that way, and puking it up. It takes them longer that way to get a good sized pile of vomit together.

So, there you have it, rolled up bits of cat fur? not a good kitteh toy. ANd likely to lead to marital strife. I suppose that him cleaning up 3 days worth of kitteh vomit means its my turn to do the cat boxes.)

(ETA: we just found the 'toy'/furball. Or what's left of it. Hidden on a shelf in the library. I've no idea how much of it was ingested but I am officially not responsible for any future puking episodes.)

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Reluctant about grooming...

La Doof Kitton doesn't shed a lot--this is a good thing as it counters the fact that El Gato sheds more than any other cat I have ever known. Regardless, there are no surfaces in the house where you won't get gray cat hairs on your black suit--rest assured of that. We try to groom the kittehs but neither of them likes it much.

Earlier this week, I finished brushing and wiping down El Gato (yes, that explains the baby-wipe-thingies in the pics) when La Doof Kitton plopped himself down in front of me to demand attention so I tried to furminate him (with one hand while operating the camera with the other hand--for future refence? Cat grooming is a 3 hand job).

He was bound and determined not to be brushed--but he was also bound and determined not to be chased off from the prime laying spot--on top of all mom's stuff and in front of the computer monitor. He was also determined to chew off the rubber on the furminator handle.

Pictures and, rarity of rarities, video:

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Mmm, microwave goodies

I apologize, I haven't had time to post and I should have.

But, will cute pictures hold off the hordes?

mmm, what have we here?

I'll take my tilapia raw, thanks.

(please note, the toaster in front of La Doof Kitton?
that lives there because it's not as far for it to fall when he decides to push it down to get to the crumbs)

Friday, July 3, 2009


I was sitting in the living room, watching Mr. G make himself lunch today, that this is how the conversation went:

*opens microwave to zap lunch*

Huh, lookit, a cupcake. Why would a cupcake have to live in the microwave?

*gray and white paw appears as La Doof Kitton stands on his hind feet and tries to get a claw into the cupcake.*

Oh no you don't little man. Chocolate is bad for kittehs.

*Mr. G sets his lunch down on the table and gets the that moment, La Doof Kitton goes from the floor to the kitchen table, trying to Bogart lunch...*

HEY! Not allowed on the table!

*La Doof Kitton moves to the floor before he can be moved. Mr. G sets the cupcake on the table and puts his lunch in the microwave*

two minutes...start....

*a gray and white paw appers above the edge of the table and one claw manages to hook into the cupcake paper and start dragging it toward the edge of the table...*

*paw disappears*

You know it is all your fault we can't have nice things. And that the cupcakes live in the microwave. and that the cookies live in the oven. And that the dog treats are locked in cupboards.

*La Doof Kitton looks up at Mr. G expectantly, sees no treats are forthcoming and walks to the cupboard below the microwave. He nudges it open and climbs inside, to nest on top of the pudding cups*

Yeah, I give up too.

(and I ate the cupcake directly afterwards to remove temptation from the microwave.)

Saturday, June 27, 2009

A Dawg story thrown in for good measure.

I know, I know, this is La Doof Kitton's blog. He shouldn't have to share it with the other pets.

But, truly, I found my write up of this Dawg story funny (yes, I'm easily amused. And yes, I laugh at my own jokes. And yes, I wrote it up already, some of you already saw it--sorry) so I figured everyone could deal. So without further ado:

Why I fired Dawg as my protector.

2 tidbits that are relevant:

1-I don't wear shoes in the summer @ home unless I'm going farther than a 10' radius around the yard. Blame my grandma who thought shoes were a torture device and that barefoot was the way to be. (and no, it doesn't hurt. Feet toughen up fast)

2-there are very few things that skeeve me out bug-wise. Exceptions = earwigs and/or things in swarms. (which makes sense--I don't care how much you love butterflies, standing in 3000 of them can give you the heebie-jeebies. Or at least it can me)


Today was trash day. Last night, i was getting the trash out and Dawg was 'helping' (see Dawg's definition of helping under 'hindering'). So she followed me around the house as I gathered trash [except the basement to do cat boxes--she's still afraid of the monster that eats puppies]. Then she went with me outside and we put all the trash in the container.

Then I moved the trash cart and, as we've had a LOT of wet weather recently, I saw a whole google of earwigs scurrying around. I lost it for a moment. I didn't scream but I had a fit of heebie-jeebies right then and there.

Even Dawg, being the *least* intuitive animal in the house (El Gato is the most, oddly enough. She always knows what we're feeling. She might not *CARE* and she sure as shooting won't help, but she makes it clear she knows), knew I was freaked out. And she deduced that the freak out was directed at the garbage cart. So she placed herself between me and the cart and made funny postures in front of it in order to say "quit freaking out Mom". Unfortunately, she did this while standing on my bare feet. And her nails need to be trimmed.

So, with a few bleeding scratches on the top of my feet, I flee out of Dawggie claw range and go put on shoes--I decided I needed protection between my toes and the devilish murder of carnivorous clawed critters.

I'm warily circling the trash container, eyeing it very suspiciously. Dawg seems to get that something is still bothering me. So since I made it clear that chewing on the trash cart wasn't the preferred answer, she looked for what else might bother me. So she scurried directly though the swarm of evil earwigs and....grabbed a stray leaf. She killed that leaf but good, making it very clear to the neighboring leaves that they should not bother mom. (ignoring the earwigs, of course)

I glared at her a wee bit for not noticing the earwigs she was walking in and out of and Dawg's little doggie light bulb went off...leaves were *not* the culprit. So she looked around to see what else might be getting to me...and she looked at the trash cart, at the seething mass of earwigs and then lit on what must be scaring mom...a pine cone.

The pine cone dutifully destroyed, she ran happy laps around the yard, quite certain she had defended mom against the evils of the yard's natural enemies.

I sighed, watched most of the earwigs disperse, grabbed the cart, and fled the rest of the bugs.

Then I came back to the house to have the heebie-jeebies. And I fired Dawg as the defender against earwigs.

Apparently the cats aren't fond of peppermint cremes.

I've been making things in the kitchen.

And Dawg's knee has been going in and out so she decided she couldn't lay underfoot--to risky. So the cats got to help instead.

I was kneading my peppermint creames (the ingredients in the bowl = lots of powdered sugar, egg white, peppermint extract and lemon juice) and a big poof of 'dough' and powdered sugar landed on the floor.

Dawg saw this and hobbled up onto her 3 legs and headed toward the tasty treats. La Doof Kitton and El Gato got there first.

El Gato arrived just in time for another pea-sized blob of dough to pop out of the bowl and konk her on the head. She, in typical El Gato fashion, over reacted, panicked, and fled. I'm not sure where she went because she hasn't come back out yet.

La Doof Kitton sniffed around. He wasn't interested in the sugar, which makes sense because cats can't taste sweet. But he decided that a blob of minty-sugar was worth exploring...and promptly decided that was a *tremendously* bad idea. He spit it out, stuck out his tongue several times, and sneezed repeatedly.

So Dawg DID indeed get to clean up the floor by herself. Which she enjoyed.

I bought La Doof Kitton's forgiveness only because pom-poms were on clearance in the craft asile of local store. Apparently 2 pom-poms is the going rate for laughing at a Kitton for hating mint.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I heard La Doof Kitton hiss at El Gato...

which is a first.

There is a lot of cat growling and hissing in our house. But it all comes from El Gato. El Gato has the bad habit of hissing whenever La Doof Kitton annoys her. This is perfectly reasonable when La Doof Kitton is doing things to annoy her like chewing on Roscoe (her tail) or tackling her or trying to steal her treats. It's less reasonable when he is doing things to annoy her like breathing the same air, being in the same room, or walking away from her.

Regardless, the kitteh growling in our house stems from one source, El Gato. The only time La Doof Kitton has hissed involved things like tails being stepped on.

Until this week.
This week, we have had bug heaven in our house. I'm not quite sure why but moths have been sneaking their way in. Not a big problem (except some earwigs snuck in and *shudder* they give me the heebie jeebies for no good reason) and it does provide pet entertainment.

I was getting out of the shower and watched a fairly large moth land on the blinds. I asked the Mr. if he wanted to help La Doof Kitton catch a moth for me. The Mr. scooped up La Doof Kitton and showed him the moth which promptly flew out of kitton reach toward the lights above the sink. The Mr. and La Doof Kitton played a very very odd game of 'whack-a-moth' that involved the Mr., holding La Doof Kitton, moving La Doof Kitton into moth range, La Doof Kitton swiping at the moth, the moth moving a few inches and the Mr. moving La Doof Kitton.

Eventually, La Doof Kitton caught the moth between his 2 front paws. The Mr. at that point said he wasn't sure if he had done his good deed for the day or his bad deed for the day...maybe they were the same deed? He set La Doof Kitton down and the moth was not released...the moth was set down carefully, batted a few times, then, lifted into La Doof Kitton's mouth. La Doof Kitton jumped down onto the floor and spat out the moth to take a few more swipes.

At that moment, El Gato rounded the corner and was eying La Doof Kitton's moth with interest. Faster than a thought, the moth was buried beneath his paws and he was making spitting/hissing noises I had never heard before. El Gato thought about what to do for a moment--weighing double what La Doof Kitton does, she can beat him in a fight...until, of course, she lets him up. At the point when she has 'won' and tries to walk away, La Doof Kitton is like one of those obnoxious punching-bag-clowns who springs back upright and tries to tackle her. Which is why she never wins fights--there's always another rount to go (when all she wants to do is go back to napping). She decided La Doof Kitton could keep his stupid moth, she didn't want one anyhow and sauntered away.

La Doof Kitton put the moth back into his mouth and disappeared into the basement. I'm not quite sure what moth tortures went on but, La Doof Kitton did NOT come back upstairs for bedtime treats 15 minutes later (a first). I'm fairly sure things involving hoses and lotions and baskets occurred.

Two hours later, La Doof Kitton launched himself into the middle of our bed for his nightly snuggle (late). I said the pouncing was him thanking us for his 'toy'. The Mr. says that, more than likely, La Doof Kitton was testing to see if the fresh kill had given him super moth powers (he also says that La Doof Kitton will forever claim he caught the moth without human help).

No super powers. Yet. Maybe if he eats a few dozen more...

Saturday, June 13, 2009

I wonder if he's now intentionally putting the box on the floor?

because it's been there a lot recently...and that's new.

It was there when I got up this morning,instead of on the shelf next to the window (where it normally lives).

I didn't wake up when I heard strange sounds last night...but I am immune to strange sounds at night most of the time anymore. (I have to be--it's a defense mechanism that I need in order to SLEEP in this house)

I was trying to take my pills and get breakfast before getting distracted so I didn't pick it up right away.
La Doof Kitton was quite perturbed that anything was more important than operation box restoration. He walked to the box, sniffed it, and walked over to me, headbutted my leg and walked back to the box and set a paw on it. I ignored him and he repeated this several more times before walking to the box, sitting on it (it was upside down) and yowling. Then he walked up to me again. I put it back and he's been napping there ever since.

Except when he left to cause stealing my bookmarks so I wouldn't know where I was in my book (apparently I pay to much attention to the book, not enough to him).

(please note that once he has it out, he no longer wants it :-P)

Friday, June 12, 2009


The pets in our house have obsessions.

El Gato has an inordinate fondness for (among other things) the taste of leather and and a dislike for things that lead to mom leaving the house (like work); hence the chew marks on my work shoes, briefcases, portfolios, and belts.

Dawg has taken a shine to wood; hence the bark nuggets she steals from the flower bed, the chew marks on various sticks around the house, her eating of my wood jewelry and her uncanny knack for sneaking into the garage when we're working on a carpentry project to steal scraps and hide them in the back yard (and yes, there are lots of bits of lumber in my back yard).

La Doof Kitton has several things he is fond of but he likes rubber coating. He tried to steal my new scissors with their 'comfort padded' handles. I have to keep my razor out of reach because he has, on more than one occasion, made off with it and attempted to chew off the rubbery grippy things.

I recently needed a new toothbrush and brought one with rubbery coating on part of the handle. This has made brushing my teeth interesting, as he is obsessed with my toothbrush.

So earlier this week, when he was attempting to steal my toothbrush out of my mouth, I decided I needed to document the crazy. I sat down in the office and tried to operate the camera with one hand and brush my teeth with the other...The result isn't a masterpiece of photography but it proves I'm not making this stuff up.
(please ignore the mess on my desk. Yes, he is sitting on paperwork, dilbert comics, and my calligraphy)
(and please apply the caption 'nom nom nom nom nom' to all the pictures ;-)

Monday, June 8, 2009

He may have lost another life today...

We've had interesting weather today. We've gone from sunny to stormy back to sunshine again all day. While I was riding out the storm at work, Mr. G called to update me on the status of the pets.

None of the pats are especially fond of thunder--the cats dislike loud noises in general and Dawg is concerned that burglars may sneak in and not be heard over the sound of the rumbling so she scares them off before they even get a chance to get close by barking at the thunder.

The grumblings and rumblings of thunder had successfully disturbed everyone in the household but seemed to be passing on by. So Dawg curled up on her rug, El Gato curled up on the bed, and La Doof Kitton climbed into his shoebox--the one that is right next to the (open) window in the office.

After a lull long enough for all of the pets to be in nice comfortable dozes, there was a tremendous *crack* of thunder--the kind that sends you skittering to windows to make sure you are in one piece and that the trees are still standing upright. Mr. G heard this crack then a soft thump and was standing up to see if anything had been hit when he heard an odd noise. His first thought was that it was the staticky sound of something electrical shorting. Then he thought it was odd hail on the outside of the house--just on the wall. Then he looked down...

The thunder had startled La Doof Kitton into attempting some previously unattempted acrobatics without a net. The thump that followed the thunder was his box launching itself off the shelf, onto the middle of the floor. The staticky sound was the noise of all four paws desperately trying to gain purchase on the side of a smooth, vertical desk. Apparently, that moment one sees in cartoons? The one right as the character looks down and realises there is merely air below him instead of the ledge and his legs work at running up the sheer cliff face and just succeed in having everything hang there in slow motion? Yes that scene is apparently possible in real life.

Of course, the image of La Doof Kitton doing this, with his bottle brush tail and his wide eyes, resulted in much laughing at his expense. He hasn't forgiven the laughter yet.

Nor has he gotten back into his box, even though we put it back on it's shelf.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

The cat is out of the bag

or in the bag, as the case may be.

Around 3 this morning, I awoke to a *tremendous* crash. It was, unfortunately, my turn to investigate the cause of crashes--Mr. G having investigated the one that came about 6 yesterday morning and was the result of La Doof Kitton climbing a bookshelf.

My guard Dawg lifted her head at the crash, pondered getting up to come defend me, dragged herself up, sniffed the air, declared that it was to early for this and she was sure there were no burglars and crawled back onto her bed.

I, on the other hand, wanted to make sure that the crash wasn't the refrigerator falling over, the oven exploding, a pipe bursting, or cats dancing the tango on the remains of my plants. I groggily wandered through the office, the library, the bathroom and the living room--no signs of anything amiss.
I flipped on the light in the kitchen and found La Doof Kitton working hard to look innocent while trying to convince the hair on his back and tail to quit standing up. There were 2 kitchen chairs lying on their backs. I had left my re-usable grocery bag hanging from the back of one of those chairs when I went to bed. That bag was now a full 5 feet from where it had been left.

Apparently, attempting to jump into the bag while it dangles from a chair causes a chain reaction of chaos.
I blinked twice, decided nothing was truly broken, and went back to bed. The chairs waited until morning to stand back up and the bag somehow moved from the floor in front of the oven to the hallway near the living room before I got out of bed. Apparently he wasn't permanently scared off or scarred by his brush with gravity.

So the cat is back in the bag. At this particular moment, he is hiding in the bottom of the bag (like I said, now in the living room) waiting for either Dawg or El Gato to wander past so he can pop out and scare the living daylights out of them. I know this because he already scared me twice today. Never a dull moment :-)

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Puss n' boots

I own a pair or 2 of nice, rather tall boots. These live in my closet, which is off limits to kittehs, because El Gato has decided she likes the taste of leather.
(really. She also dislikes that I go to work. When, after a bout of unemployment, I took my current job, a pair of shoes that had been sitting in the open, a nice leather binder that had been on a desk, and a leather briefcase/bag that had been in the corner started going to work with me daily. These things, which until then she had completely ignored, earned her ire--it was obviously THEIR fault that mom was gone 8+ hours a day now. And all of these items now have teeth-marks in them. Hence her not being allowed in the closet)

Recently, I wore these boots and tossed them on the floor at the end of the day as I was taking off the clothes (yes, please ignore the rest of the clothing strewn about. I can't believe I'm allowing the interwebz to know about my undergarments. I was also wrapping a gift at the time, obviously--and this did successfully distract him from 'helping' me tie bows on it.) I had no idea how entertaining boots could be.

Hmm, what is this?

Now with a kitteh surprise inside!

I have conquered it. Now I shall sleep on/in it.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Tied up with a bow

Today, I tried to take pictures of ribbon for someone to choose which I should use for a craft project. La Doof Kitton was utterly convinced I was trying to get a picture of him.

He was wrong...but he's still cute. I eventually sent on the pictures I had with a disclaimer that obviously La Doof Kitton chooses the blue w/ white dots but that was probably because it was the only one that was open. That or because it maches his collar.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Treat time!

Treat time, in the G house, is interesting.
There are 2 treat-times per day--first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
They are always interesting moments because each pet in the house would rather have the treats belonging to the OTHER pets than his or her own treats.

The morning treats started when someone (no idea who) needed medication in the morning--'spoonful of sugar' (or in our house, a bit of dog biscuit or a piece of pounce [yes, pounce is nasty stuff.  Reading the ingredients make me gag.  But we've yet to find a treat that they will eat that isn't nasty]) and all that.  And apparently we are quite guilty of over-anthropomorphising our animals, so we can't give one a treat without giving treats to the other two.  Morning treats are a pretty easy; put Dawg outside, give cats treats (to be expanded upon re: nighttime), give Dawg a treat when she comes back in.

Evening treats started as a way to convince Dawg into her crate at bedtime (she has since graduated but knows the command "bedtime!" means she should find her bed and be behind the baby gate) and is a bit more challenging.  I say "bedtime" and the cats head toward the kitchen for their treats and Dawg heads toward the bedroom.  I throw Dawg a biscuit and 90% of the time, that's where it ends.  The other 10% of the time, La Doof Kitton decides that he would much rather have Dawg's biscuit than wait for his treat and throws himself between Dawg and her biscuit--a rather dangerous place to be when the rightful owner of the biscuit weighs 5 times more than the kitton.  
On those nights, La Doof Kitton gets bowled over and there is much chasing and havoc before Dawg finishes her biscut--the nights following, Dawg is MUCH more alert and proactive.  (and you would think I could stop this by giving La Doof Kitton his treat before Dawg gets hers but that simply results in Dawg eating all the kitteh treats AND her cookie--that pesky 'weighs 5 x' bit comes in handy for her on occasion)

La Doof Kitton wolfs down his treat every night and then tries to eat El Gato's treat.  You wouldn't know it to look at El Gato and her *ahem* Rubenesque figure, but El Gato is a picky eater--she must sniff fully and ensure that something passes her inspection before she can eat it (her weight problems are likely caused by the fact that, in spite of inspecting carefully, I've almost never seen a particle of food fail her inspection.  After 10 minutes of sniffing, she eats it,  regardless of what it is).  The obvious solution to this would seem to be to give El Gato her treat first so she can finish inspecting and have it eaten before La Doof Kitton gets to it...but that fails--La Doof Kitton is to speedy.  
The solution is to stand in the kitchen and get out two cat treats every night--then to take one treat and hurl it somewhere as far away and as inconveniently accessed as possible.  This thrown treat is La Doof Kitton's treat.  It never occurs to him to wait for the 'easy access' treat to be put down in front of him, he can't resist the chance to stalk the treat into an out-of-the-way location.

So while La Doof Kitton retrieves his treat from behind the couch/on top of the TV stand/tumbling down the basement stairs/under the door to the hall closet, El Gato watches him run off, and sits, with her tail patiently wrapped around her feet.  And I set the second treat in front of El Gato.  She inspects (her inspections *have* gotten shorter since we added the kitton) it and eats it; usually finishing it before La Doof Kitton returns victorious from his hunt.

Enter last night...
when we opened the kitteh treat container to see ONE lonely kitteh treat.
We considered our options and, watching La Doof Kitton do his darnedest to steal Dawg's biscuit, decided that was the easiest.  We gave Dawg her biscuit.  We gave El Gato that last kitteh treat.  And we handed another Dawg biscuit to La Doof Kitton.
He sniffed it carefully.  He looked at us.  He sniffed the biscuit again.  He looked a bit offended.  He sniffed the biscuit again.  He looked at us  with the look of "is this a trick?  I'm not allowed these, they're Dawg's" showing through...which is when it occurred to him that he wasn't allowed to have these.  Suddenly, the value of this 'forbidden' treat dawned on him.  He snatched it away and disappeared into the basement and I could almost hear the evil cackle as he gloated over Dawg's biscuit being his.

I hope he ate it but I have a sneaking suspicion he hid it to tease Dawg with it tomorrow.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Oooh, recycling!

First, I do apologize again for the lack of posting. Things in the G household have been going something like: 'family emergency, death in the family and funeral, G feeling like death warmed over, family emergency, doctors appointments, hospital visits, family emergency, work chaos, breathe'.
I'm hoping this nice respite for breathing lasts a wee bit so I can get back into a normal swing.

La Doof Kitton found the recycling this week.

It's the best picture I could get of the chaos caused by pop cans rolling about the kitchen. It got more chaotic as La Doof Kitton and Dawg helped me clean it up. (El Gato disappeared while these pictures were being much loudness)

I'm not quite sure how he got the lid off the trashcan, it sticks good.

But Dawg did lick most of the stickyness off the kitchen floor, which saved me having to mop it.

(and for those of you who know that Dawg is terrified to step on linolium, that she thinks it's lava or the like, yoiu may be surprised that she's there watching.
The 'rules' to the 'linolium is lava' game in Dawg's mind are *very* complicated...but if she is touching, with her side or a leg, a large piece of furniture, then the floor isn't lava. If mom is touching her neck, the floor isn't lava. If she is between mom's legs, the floor isn't lava. If she can touch the wall with her nose, the floor isn't lava. The rest of the time? That's when hard floors are lava.
And all rules are subject to change without notice.)

(PS, this is why the brilliant suggestion of 'pennies in a can' to use as a puppy training tool didn't work for Dawg. We tried it...she tried to eat the can--wheee toy!)

Saturday, May 2, 2009

I'll poo in your shoes for that...

(this one, obviously, might contain a wee bit of TMI)

This morning, the Mr. noticed both cats confronting each other (wrestling on top of his shoes--the shoes live on the landing) than sitting on the landing at the top of the stairs, glaring at each other, while he was preparing to leave the house.

This is unusual; they usually glare from farther away than that. He was determining what the glaring was all about, (whether El Gato was plotting something devious and La Doof Kitton was 'helping' or whether La Doof Kitton was plotting something devious and El Gato was thwarting it, or of La Doof Kitton was just preventing El Gato from going to the basement to use her litter box--this can be an ongoing problem, not helped by the fact that El Gato has tummy/digestive tract issues) as he reached for his shoes.

Both cats watched him with interest and looked very disappointed that he noticed the bit of cat poo BEFORE he touched it/put his shoes on/stepped in it.

We're not sure which of them did it--El Gato is the one with issues that relate to poo but La Doof Kitton is more likely to pick up a piece of poo and plant it in a shoe. It might have been a joint effort.
Regardless, I'm taking this to mean that they have NOT yet forgiven us for leaving them with a pet sitter and that I should sleep with one eye open and check my shoes before work.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Kitteh TV

In our house, Kitteh TV is whatever is right outside the window. (We had Kitteh DVR when we had gerbils but once one gerbil ate the other, that hit to close to 'survivor' for us...after one to many close calls, the last gerbil standing went to a [very nice!] home where he was not going to be devoured.)

With the lovely spring weather upon us and the birds nesting in the yard and the bunnies wandering in and out of sight, open windows = kitteh TV with smell-o-=vision.

To this end, nearly all the windows in our house are cat accessible. The windows in the living room and the office and the kitchen are accessible. The windows in the bedroom and library aren't supposed to be accessible but it can be arranged. The only room in the house which has a completely inaccessible window is the bathroom.

Which explains why, last week, when I went into the bathroom, I nearly had a heart attack.
The shade moved funny, I went to adjust it, and my hand landed on something soft and gray and fuzzy...thinking I had grabbed a mouse, I panicked. It obviously wasn't a mouse. Apparently,in spite of never being accessible before, that bathroom if La Doof Kitton tries really hard.

He was kind enough to pose for pictures after I quit panicking.
(he was licking his lips at the tasty looking birds in the 3rd picture. He looks drunk in the 2nd one which is why I posted it--I'm that sort of mean kitteh momma)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I'm not sure when he developed opposable thumbs...

but apparently he did.
How ELSE can one explain how he (repeatedly) got the lid off the container of Dawg's treats?

He would, however, like to attest to his innocence. He says he is much to mellow to bother with things like doggie cookies.