Sunday, February 6, 2011

Another case of "HA, you can't catch me"

I may have mentioned that La Doof Kitton has an uncanny knack of knowing when I can stop him from doing stuff and when I can't.
He knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that when I'm nursing Buffy, he can get away with murder--I can't move and I certainly can't yell at him--either upsets the balance of nursing.  La Doof Kitton enjoys it when I nurse Buffy--he chooses those moments to sit on shelves and shove things off, open drawers and grab things, and pounce on his siblings.

Earlier this week, around 3 am, I was feeding Buffy in the nursery.  I was less tolerant than normal because I was feeling slightly better than death but still like I was wallowing in mucous and could drown in phlegm.  Mr. G got up, got me warm tea and, per my request, put a few cough-drops within reach.  (the bag of cough drops can't be left out because *someone* digs in there and hides them throughout the house)
Then, since he felt like death, the Mr. shut (but did not latch--if it's latched, it upsets Dawg and normally, only she can open it; the kittehs can't) the nursery's screen door (so Dawg and I were alone w/ Buffy in the nursery) and went back to bed.

Only, it was a night when La Doof Kitton was in rare form.  After running loud laps around the rest of the house several times, he sat at the nursery door and dug his claws into the screen.  When he really wants to, he can open the door this way....and this night he wanted to.
After the door was opened, he ran a few more laps, including the nursery in them--it's very necessary to include the nursery so he can run across Dawg's nose and irritate her into awake-ness.  It's also important to leap the baby-gate repeatedly during this and knock it over because mom so appreciates loud noises that disturb the baby at 3 am (insert a picture of me shaking my fist here).

Finally, La Doof Kitton got quieter and I, stupidly, didn't assume he was causing trouble. I dozed in the rocking chair with Buffy and then watched as a white-tipped paw snaked it's way out from under the chair's night-stand.  Said paw slid up the side and reached up over the top where it felt around.  I hissed "STOP, go away".  The paw froze...and then found what it was looking for...YAY, a COUGH DROP.

Next thing I know, there's a cough drop being carried across the floor in a wee kitteh mouth.

I 'whisper yell' at him to stop it.
He stops...just outside of where I could reach him/throw something at him/poke him with my foot.

He set down the cough drop, sniffed it over VERY carefully, and proceeded to bat it around for a minute.
AT this point, I consider just letting him have it and I considered letting myself fall back into dozing.  La Doof Kitton noticed this and stealing things is no fun if mom doesn't react!
So he set the cough drop down again...and set to work very carefully attempting to unwrap it.
More 'whisper yelling' is ineffective...La Doof Kitton seems to enjoy watching me be agitated but unable to do anything so he decides to up the ante...he takes the cough drop in his mouth again and carries it over to just in front of Dawg's nose...where he drops it.
Then he bats Dawg's head.

Dawg wakes up, sees this neat-o 'toy/treat' and picks it up and starts to carry it away.  (La Doof Kitton looks honestly perturbed by this.  For as intelligent as he is, he fails to understand why Dawg doesn't play 'properly' when he shares toys.  He fails to understand that Dawg's form of play = eat/destroy.  I do wonder sometimes if he just thinks Dawg is the world's largest, ugliest, stupidest cat)

At this point, I don't dare let Dawg just have it; I can envision sick animals and cherry-menthol-smudges across the floor so I give up 'whisper yelling' and make noises to wake the Mr.  Who then has to chase Dawg around to retrieve the cough drop (her 'give' command is best followed if I give it) and the rest of the cough drops go into my bathrobe pocket so they're out of reach.

Which would explain why they're currently melted into the bottom of my dryer...need to check those pockets.

I do believe, however, that La Doof Kitton's response would be telling me he was just saving me from the horrid cherry-menthol ickyness.  And that he really only wanted the wrapper.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Things heard in the G house so far in 2011

I decided that, now that we're a month in, to make a (short) list of things said to the pets (as a group) and specifically La Doof Kitton in the first month of the new year.  I think this is evidence that he did not make a resolution to be well behaved.  And we probably sound like mean pet parents. 

  • It's all your fault we can't have nice things
  • You don't have balls, quit mounting your sister
  • Pick on someone your own size (Because he was picking on El Gato--nevermind she out weighs him by *cough cough* pounds)
  • Pick on someone your own size does NOT mean pick on Dawg
  • Get down from there! ('there' was a shelf, a kitchen counter, a table and a windowsill)
  • Your disguise needs work; no matter how still you hold, you can't pass as a pudding cup
  • (see above^) ...nor a saucepan.
  • Saying 'nobody here but us pots' does not help the disguise
  • Someday, your paw is going to get stuck like that. (he was trying to get into a drawer--more on that in another post another day :-P)
  • QUIT reaching into the microwave
  • You can be made into violin strings (he was trying to wake the baby)
  • seriously?  it's a green bean.  People are going to think we don't feed you if you 3 don't stop fighting over a frozen green bean
  • If you make the hole in the window shade bigger, I will beat knots on your pointy little skull.  (see above re: not having nice things.  He made the hole bigger so he could climb through and peer out)
  • Dude, you will SO deserve it when Dawg eats you one of these days!  
  • (^see above.  He was eventually pounced by Dawg) Nu-uh, not gonna yell at her.  You were being good this time, but you deserved it for trying to eat her ear while she was sleeping last night.  And stealing her bed 3 nights last week
  • Yes doofus, that tail is still attached to your butt.  But your attempt to remove it is entertaining!
  • If you push that book off the shelf one more time, I will throw it at you (please note, he only shoves things off shelves when I can't reach him because I'm holding a baby.  He knows this)
  • Cough drops are not cat toys.
  • (see above^) Neither are cough drop wrappers!
  • (see above^) Neither are pacifiers.  And, ew, now I have to clean that.
  • Catus, all soft surfaces in the house are NOT cat beds.  (followed by booting him out of the crib/off Dawg's bed/off my bathrobe/etc) 

I'm sure I'll have more to add eventually, but I thought it was a pretty good start for 1 month :)