Mmmm, chips

Everyone loves potato chips. And you can't eat just one...

Which is why, apparently, La Doof Kitton chewed a hole in a second bag of potato chips after chewing a hole in the first bag.
Holes which I discovered when taking care of groceries, I picked up the existing bags of chips, and watched rather stupidly as chips and crumbs poured out of the bottom of 2 bags into a ginormous mess in the middle of the floor.

(Apparently though, he doesn't like eating chips. He just THINKS he likes chips until he manages to get the bag opened, licks off a few, and then moves on to something else.)

And now we have to find a new home for the chips.

Ooooh, jewelry!

I came home from work today and wondered why La Doof Kitton kept attacking the bedspread; that's not his normal style.

And then I saw it...my sapphire bracelet was on the bed.
I gaped, I swore, I threatened to beat knots on his wee gray skull and I took it away and went to put it back in the bracelet drawer of my jewelry box, which is when I noticed that he has figured out those drawers.
(Initially, I figured I had left things out where they were accessible, not that he was this much smarter than me. I should know by now that he's smarter than me.)

The bracelet drawer was pulled out and I have steadily been hunting down my shiny bits; the sapphires from the bed, the blue glass beads from inside the hamper (I have no idea how either--like I said, he's smarter than me), the garnets from the edge of a closet, etc.

SOMEWHERE in the house a small plain gold chain bracelet is hiding, I have no idea where. I think La Doof Kitton is hoping to keep his spoils of war as a necklace and I"m still at a loss for how better to store my baubles.

How La Doof Kitton became a felon...

There were some nice police officers at our house recently (some people know that story, others don't. Suffice to say, everyone is FINE; it was routine, they were nice people doing their job. And Dawg DID have a license so we didn't have to pay that fine. Like we did last time officials visited with us.)

AENYHOO, Dawg was shut into a room because, well, she's Dawg. Which was fine except during their checking, the nice officer didn't realize she was there and kinda startled him by ramming herself head first into the door and making "Hi, Let me out to pounce you!!!" noises when he opened it to make sure there weren't cat burglars in that room.
(and then we put her outside. Where she promptly trekked through 6 inch deep mud then, when coming inside, wiped her paws off ALL by herself...on the officer's pants. Yeah, her training kinda went out the window...)

During all of this, El Gato the Splendiferous was nowhere to be found.
And La Doof Kitton, by virtue of being La Doof Kitton, planted himself in the middle of the coffee table in the living room (center of attention) and stood on his hind feet to make himself seen.
So when asked we said "oh yes, he loves everybody"

SO the nice officer reached out to pet the adorable kitty...and the adorable kitty put out all his claws, grabbed the officer's hand between those nice white paws, and pulled the officer's hand firmly into his mouth.
La Doof Kitton didn't bite down hard (easy for me to say, my hand wasn't being gnawed on), he just held that hand very very firmly while evaluating whether or not police officers taste like chicken. ANd whether or not they deserve biting. And see if he would jerk away.

Apparently the officer passed muster because La Doof Kitton, after a moment, let go. At which point the officer took back his hand with a grin, grabbed for his gun and called the kitty some names that would make me have to put a "not safe for work" disclaimer on the story.
BAD KITTY!

I'm fairly sure assaulting an officer in the line of duty is a felony even for kitties; I also think La Doof Kitton just likes bothering people in authority. And would be amused to know he is a felon.

I was just picking out your jewelry for today

Somewhere, I have a poster where Charlie Brown complains that, knowing the alarm goes off at 7 am, 6:58 is the worst time of day.

La Doof Kitton decided, this morning, to spare us the agony of awaking to the alarm at 6 am. Instead, he climbed up on my dresser (he never gets on my dresser!) and started exploring jewelry. And at precisely 5:58, he started pushing things off the dresser ... twas the sound of bits of metal tinkling and spreading across the floor as a jewlery box and an earring holder and another jewlery thing hit the floor that awoke me.

There is no snooze button for that.

After about 20 minutes, we found my wedding bands. I'll start matching up earrings this evening to make sure they haven't disappeared into the depths of the cat's hiding places.

The Dog did it

"No mom, you've got it ALL wrong.

I was minding my own business when I heard Dawg making those weird growly noises she sometimes makes.

So I came in here and caught her playing in the torturous box of water machine.

I told her to stop but she wouldn't.


So I jumped in to stop her.
So...yeah, she did this.

What do you mean she's outside? Oh, uhm, right, I forgot.
Yeah, did I say Dawg did it?

I meant El Gato did it. Yeah.
And she SAID she was going to frame me and...look, she did!

I told her you were to smart to fall for that ..."

(El Gato was not amused with the accusation.)

Pic, just for fun

I think this is what La Doof Kitton sees sometimes; forbidden items glow with an impossible allure ...

Why we have no plants....

Walked into the kitchen this morning to a reminder that apparently the top of the bookcase is NOT out of La Doof Kitton's reach.

He tried to pretend he was much to innocent to have stolen the flower but just seconds later he succumbed to it's siren call as it convinced him, even though mom was standing RIGHT THERE with a camera to prove he was playing with it, to bat at the forbidden non-toy.

And now that all is said and done, the (few--mostly missing bits for some reason...) fake plants we have in the house are now on top of a curio cabinet without nearby jumping surfaces. We shall see if that's beyond the might paw of La Doof Kitton.