mmm, cat treats.

Every morning and every evening, the pets in the G household get treats.

Some people think we spoil our pets.  Really, we just want to ake sure none of them have done anything incredibly stupid--giving treats is how we eliminate reduce the odds that one of the critters spends the night/day on a shelf locked in the linen closet, in the dryer, locked outside, trapped in the garage, etc.

For those who don't know, Buffy recently became mobile.  She doesn't crawl but she does a scooting that moves her faster than her parents realise.
This makes feeding the pets in the morning extra challenging.  Remember the old 'items and a boat' (The Simpsons do it best, but I suppose the traditional 'fox, goose, bag o' beans' is more classic)?  It's like that.  Buffy wants to steal the treats/hug/otherwise bother all the pets.  Dawg wants to steal the treats of all the cats.  The cats won't EAT Dawg's treats, but wll bother the bejeebes out of her.  La Doof Kitton tries to steal El Gato's treats and El Gato is the world's slowest eater.  You have 1 high chair and 3 pets in the living room...

Normally, I put Buff in her high chair while arranging all of this--because of the above mentioned issues.  This particular day, I forgot.  I put Buffy down on the kitchen floor, went in the living room where I gave El Gato her treats and, on the other end of the living room (closer to the kitchen) gave La Doof Kitton his treats.  Then I gave Dawg HER treats in the hallway, after dragging her away from stealing El Gato's treats.

At that moment, I see Buffy scooting her wee butt across the living room with a look on her face that resembles a cat that ate the canary.  It looks closer to 'the baby who ate the cat treat' though and I realise that La Doof Kitton looks PIIIIISSSSSED.

I pick up Buffy, take her to the kitchen were I have better lighting, and pry her mouth open.  I stick a finger in (which promptly gets bitten) and 'finger sweep' until the Pounce treat, now resembling chicken-flavored-play dough, falls on the floor.  El Gato appears, sniffs it...and eats it.  La Doof Kitton glowers from the corner and Buffy screams that I took away 'her' treat.
I consider telling El Gato that it belongs to La Doof Kitton, but I figure that he has stolen a gazillion of El Gato's treats in the past few years, he deserves to loose this one.

I think La Doof Kitton is having to learn hard lessons about the new pecking order--and so am I.  Buffy must be in the high chair when treating pets.

Flowers for the Kitton

Buffy is learning how to 'fish for kittons":

You start with appropriate 'bait'.  Flags are excellent

Then you wave the bait around a lot.

It helps if you do this for the 'right' kitteh.  El Gato is not interested in flags when they are attached to loud, moving Buffy.

Eventually, the kitton, who has been waiting, just out of reach for ages, will be unable to resist and will come barreling out of nowhere to attack the bait.

Do you remember "Who framed Roger Rabbit"?  Where they tap 'shave and a hair cut' and the poor rabbit is trying DESPERATELY not to come bursting out but eventually can't stop himself?  Yep.  It looks a lot like that.
Buffy LOVES it when she finally wins.

You can also fish using a flower on a stick

Lookout behind you!  Lasers!

Another case of "HA, you can't catch me"

I may have mentioned that La Doof Kitton has an uncanny knack of knowing when I can stop him from doing stuff and when I can't.
He knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that when I'm nursing Buffy, he can get away with murder--I can't move and I certainly can't yell at him--either upsets the balance of nursing.  La Doof Kitton enjoys it when I nurse Buffy--he chooses those moments to sit on shelves and shove things off, open drawers and grab things, and pounce on his siblings.

Earlier this week, around 3 am, I was feeding Buffy in the nursery.  I was less tolerant than normal because I was feeling slightly better than death but still like I was wallowing in mucous and could drown in phlegm.  Mr. G got up, got me warm tea and, per my request, put a few cough-drops within reach.  (the bag of cough drops can't be left out because *someone* digs in there and hides them throughout the house)
Then, since he felt like death, the Mr. shut (but did not latch--if it's latched, it upsets Dawg and normally, only she can open it; the kittehs can't) the nursery's screen door (so Dawg and I were alone w/ Buffy in the nursery) and went back to bed.

Only, it was a night when La Doof Kitton was in rare form.  After running loud laps around the rest of the house several times, he sat at the nursery door and dug his claws into the screen.  When he really wants to, he can open the door this way....and this night he wanted to.
After the door was opened, he ran a few more laps, including the nursery in them--it's very necessary to include the nursery so he can run across Dawg's nose and irritate her into awake-ness.  It's also important to leap the baby-gate repeatedly during this and knock it over because mom so appreciates loud noises that disturb the baby at 3 am (insert a picture of me shaking my fist here).

Finally, La Doof Kitton got quieter and I, stupidly, didn't assume he was causing trouble. I dozed in the rocking chair with Buffy and then watched as a white-tipped paw snaked it's way out from under the chair's night-stand.  Said paw slid up the side and reached up over the top where it felt around.  I hissed "STOP, go away".  The paw froze...and then found what it was looking for...YAY, a COUGH DROP.

Next thing I know, there's a cough drop being carried across the floor in a wee kitteh mouth.

I 'whisper yell' at him to stop it.
He stops...just outside of where I could reach him/throw something at him/poke him with my foot.

He set down the cough drop, sniffed it over VERY carefully, and proceeded to bat it around for a minute.
AT this point, I consider just letting him have it and I considered letting myself fall back into dozing.  La Doof Kitton noticed this and stealing things is no fun if mom doesn't react!
So he set the cough drop down again...and set to work very carefully attempting to unwrap it.
More 'whisper yelling' is ineffective...La Doof Kitton seems to enjoy watching me be agitated but unable to do anything so he decides to up the ante...he takes the cough drop in his mouth again and carries it over to just in front of Dawg's nose...where he drops it.
Then he bats Dawg's head.

Dawg wakes up, sees this neat-o 'toy/treat' and picks it up and starts to carry it away.  (La Doof Kitton looks honestly perturbed by this.  For as intelligent as he is, he fails to understand why Dawg doesn't play 'properly' when he shares toys.  He fails to understand that Dawg's form of play = eat/destroy.  I do wonder sometimes if he just thinks Dawg is the world's largest, ugliest, stupidest cat)

At this point, I don't dare let Dawg just have it; I can envision sick animals and cherry-menthol-smudges across the floor so I give up 'whisper yelling' and make noises to wake the Mr.  Who then has to chase Dawg around to retrieve the cough drop (her 'give' command is best followed if I give it) and the rest of the cough drops go into my bathrobe pocket so they're out of reach.

Which would explain why they're currently melted into the bottom of my dryer...need to check those pockets.

I do believe, however, that La Doof Kitton's response would be telling me he was just saving me from the horrid cherry-menthol ickyness.  And that he really only wanted the wrapper.

Great Birnam Chair comes to high Dunsinane dining room...

Tonight they made me laugh aloud.

Tonight, I picked up a few things that Buffy will be growing into out of the basment.
Among those things were a snuggli type carrier (which we, before Buffy arrived, tested by putting  La Doof Kitton in.  There was blood drawn; it's probably not wise to try it again.  For the record, he doesn't fit into Moby wraps well either.) and a booster seat-do-jobby- -(It is a wee tiny cheap plastic chair to strap to a larger chair)

I set the things next to the couch and went about my business--which involved trying to strap cats into the carriers (which entertained Buffy) and watching spots on the walls (cold medicine is fun!) and teaching about 'pet nice' (Both cats were very tolerant of their lessons and Dawg wandered about for several minutes (until I arrived w/ a burp cloth) with a large gob of baby-drool on her head--I swear she thought it was a badge of honor).

Then I heard a 'whump' in the kitchen.
The Mr. said 'I heard NOTHING' but by the 3rd time, we remembered that there were cookies that La Doof Kitton had tried to climb into earlier in the day (he wasn't content just stealing cookies, he climbed into the packaging and tried to pretend 'nobody here but us cookies!' was a valid form of camouflage, so continuing to say "I hear NOTHING" didn't seem wise.

I walk into the kitchen and all I see is a tail and the white of one back paw.

I wish I had a picture but let me describe it; do you remember when, as a kid, you watched a cartoon where a character hid behind a large stick and disused himself a s a tree?  or when they put a cardboard box over themselves and crept about and everyone believed it was a box?  But we all know that when, in real life, one tries such things, we look like kids holding large sticks (not trees) or a box with a girl under it, not a box stealthily moving past the bad-guys.

Well, apparently no one told La Doof Kitton that these disguises didn't work, he had grand visions of sneaking up on *something* and not being recognized as a cat.
A small blue booster seat with one paw and a tail sticking out, was slowly working it's way across the floor and had made it from the couch to the kitchen table.
I'm not quite sure what said booster seat was going to do once it was hiding amongst the big chairs; perhaps it was just waiting for an opportunity to observe chairs in their natural habitats.
But we need slightly bigger booster seats; ones that cover Scooter-tails and hind legs.

Dawg does not go on a trip...

Earlier this week, Mr. G took Buffy with him on a short trip.
He packed the baby into her car seat and headed out to the garage...

Now, Buffy is *almost* worth coming across the 'lava' (that is, the tile) for.  Some days, Dawg will brave the lava just so sneak in one more lick of the "puppy's" toes. (please note, this is always problematic because while Buffy is incentive worth braving all the way across the lava for, there's no incentive to make Dawg act brave BACK to the safety of carpet.  So Dawg could spend considerable amount of time 1-trapped 2-scrambling in a panic across the floor [because the faster she moves away from the lava, the less it hurts--at least that's what she thinks.  Unfortunately, the more she scrambles, the more likely she is to pop her knee back out of joint.  again.] or 3-being helped across the floor either by a grown-up in the house touching her shoulder all the way back to safety (or, on occasion, carrying her) or by laying towels across the floor.  #3 tends to be the most common option).

A car trip is also *almost* worth coming across the lava for.  (the adults in the house are sometimes almost worth it but usually, we're chopped liver.  Or more accurately we're significantly less interesting than chopped liver because Dawg is fond of chopped liver)

So when Dawg saw Mr. G headed for a car trip WITH Buffy, it was clearly worth flinging herself across the lava for...Dawg flung herself to the safety of the landing.
Unfortunately, this wasn't a Dawg-friendly trip and Dawg could not be coxed back across the kitchen (lava!  and besides, that would move her AWAY from Buffy and the car--why would anyone move away from Buffy or the car, ever?) so the Mr. set Buffy down, picked up Dawg and deposited her back onto the carpet.

Dawg was not standing for this--she braved lava and everything, how dare she be cheated out of her car trip with Buffy!  So she started edging herself out onto the lava again...she made it as far as sliding herself under the kitchen table (Mr. G was trying to get out the door before this
At that moment, Buffy cried. 


The cry startled Dawg who jumped.  The jump knocked over a chair.  The chair hit the floor with a loud BANG.  The bang made Buffy SCREAM (this would be an upgrade, er downgrade?  from cry--the pets are bothered by scream a lot more than they are bothered by cry).  The scream set la Doof Kitton (who had been stalking Dawg) into motion...his tail went puffy and his legs pulled off that scooby-doo move where the feet move frantically at a speed beyond belief...and the animal goes nowhere.
The Scooby-ing La Doof Kitton knocked over a 2nd chair.
The second chair startled Buffy out of her scream and she went quiet and alert.
And at that, La Doof Kitton got his footing and launched himself away--not quite sure where he went, but he pouted for most of the rest of the day.

Poor Dawg was utterly confused by all of this. And she was, again, carried to safety.
And didn't go on a trip.
But for some reason, I think Dawg came closer to winning than La Doof Kitton did--serves him right for stalking Melvin-the-tail-of-the-Dawg across the lava.

(and, La Doof Kitton just came over, stepped on the mouse, and closed the window I was typing this post in.  Thank goodness for autosave)