Tonight was sloppy joe night.
Since we slept until...well, never mind, just trust that it was relatively late (although we have excuses. Mr. G worked until nearly 3 am and I have had 2 weeks worth of insomnia, culminating with my current bout of plague [Ny Quil, the "where am I and how did I get here, why is the room spinning like this, that's why it comes with a SHOT GLASS" medicine...WHEEEEeee. ugh]), we didn't get out the ground turkey until noon.
Getting out the turkey at noon means that kitchen safety rules be damned, the stuff was thawing on the counter instead of in the fridge (Yes, I know. Even in my drug-addled state I'm aware most of the people reading this are smarter than I am and know where this is going). We aren't COMPLETELY stupid...we make sure anything left on the counter is in it's factory sealed state. But we are kinda stupid because, well, we forgot that La Doof Kitton has figured out that if it smells like a pound of ground turkey but tastes like a chunk of plastic, keep chewing.
So he kept chewing until he got to the chewy center. And then he went to work eating that.
I'm not sure how long he'd been at it when I busted him--couldn't have been that long. But I must say, there is nothing like walking into the kitchen to realize that there is now 3/4 of a pound of ground turkey in the 1 pound package and that packe is sitting in the middle of a 2 foot pool of blood. In the middle of the kitchen floor.
(Thank all that is holy that Dawg was outside during the entire debacle)
(And, yes, like most pet owners, I believe I am immune to my pet's germs. So, yes, we cooked up the remainder.)
(And, NO, he didn't get his mischief out of his system. He tried to steal the LAST Reese's cup from my hand and I had to chase him to get it back [what kind of kitty steals Halloween candy from a sick woman?]. And then he took the wrapper out of the trash and ran about with that. And when I took that from him and stuck it in the empty candy bag in the trash, he got the entire thing out of the trash and tried to suffocate himself with a plastic bag.
They're now in the trash can in the cupboard.
Although, at the moment, he's looking awfully innocent. Rather like this, that I just took...